Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
