What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
