i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
