I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
