That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
