Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
