haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
