not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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