we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
