I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
