Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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