Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
