You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
