Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize