i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
