your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
