This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
