just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
