so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
