Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
