Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
