Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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