So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
