This is not my ceiling
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
time to smoke my breakfast
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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