dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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