So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
