dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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