Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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