Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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