youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
