Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
