either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
