I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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