Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
