Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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