Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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