I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
