I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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