I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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