Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
