lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The air was thick with penises
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
