Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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