I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
