it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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