Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize