You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
