You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
