In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
