Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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