epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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