Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
