dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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