super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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