come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize