you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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