Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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