the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
