i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
